Duke Nukem Forever Review


DUKE!! Holy shit, man!.  It’s been a long time, a LONG, long time… I never thought I would see you again! God Damn it’s so good to see you!. So, what has been up?!. Jesus Christ!….. you look…… “good” nevermind that. So,God I have grown up soo much. Got a job, how adult right? Married… then divorced. Bought a car, crazy adult things ya know?!. how about you man, can’t wait to hear how we’ve all changed.

… oh.. yeah, boobs. No, their great and all, yeah. What’s that? Strippers? Yeah… I guess so, yeah, I guess you can “see your dick from here” whatever that means.  Yeah. Titties again….right on.  Yeah, Uh huh, dick joke.. gotcha. Huh? Oh, sorry.. thought you said something interesting but it was just something…..about breasts again. Anyways, yeah good to see you, I got shit I have to do soo….. I’ll call.  Well, I might text. Definitely email ya.. bye.

And that pretty much sums up my experience with DNF.

Look, even if this game was the pinnacle of first person shooters for which all all shooters should be measured.  It wouldn’t be, because it was in development for 13+ years.  No matter how fantastic it is… it would have never met the hype it was setting itself up for.. never. So, I am going to try and do my best to simply base the majority of this review on the grounds that it has a moderate dev cycle.  And then at the end I will have a little say on what the real problem I have with this game.

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